Crisis of Confidence and Motivation

“You fall for reality,
You’re bruised and defeated,
Then you learn to fall in love with yourself.
That’s motivation”

“That’s Motivation” – David Bowie, from the movie “Absolute Beginners”

It’s been one of those weeks where I feel I’m tottering between brilliance and stupidity.  This is one of the hardest parts of being a solitary developer.  One minute I’m feeling great because I’ve done something I didn’t think I could do, the next, I can’t figure out something that I should easily figure out.

Although I’ve been developing for 13 years now, I’m old enough that I missed out on object oriented development in college and I’m now trying to play catch up.  In my own development project, I’m working on a basic Windows application talking to a database.  It should be straight forward, but I seem to be complicating it for myself.  And I find myself constantly rethinking what I’m doing  – should I use the basic DataConnectors or should I look at making it object oriented?  Should I be doing Object Relational Modeling?  Should I use Access, SQL Server Compact, or Sqlite for the back end database?  All the while I feel like I’m spinning my wheels and redoing work I’ve already done.  Or spend a lot of time on something and scrap it and take a different approach.

This is one of those times when I desperately wish I had an other developer as a reality check and guidance.  So when faced what seems like an endless task, how do I get enough gumption to get going on my development work?

Here’s how I do it:

1) Blog about my troubles– If I get my troubles and feelings down in actual words, they stop rattling around in my head and distracting me like shiny little toys.  Also, feedback from the blog might also point me.

2) Step back and break what I need to do down into tiny tasks – My biggest problem with this step is having enough continual time to look at what I need to just build a to-do list that I can whittle down to nothing.

3) Let it simmer and come up with “brilliant ideas” in the shower and the drive to work – I sometimes comes up with my best ideas here.

4) Just keep swimming – Dori’s mantra from Finding Nemo is a good plan.  You got to keep moving because stopping can be death, especially in development.  Keep moving.  Keep trying something, anything.  Eventually you will figure out what works for you.

So I’m going to make some definitive choices (at least for now) and break this project down into bite sized chunks.  I think I’m overcomplicating things and I really should just evolve back to the KISS (Keep It Simple Stupid) method.

Wish me luck!

“I’ve nothing much to offer,
there’s nothing much to take,
I’m an absolute beginner,
but I’m absolutely sane.”

“Absolute Beginners” – David Bowie, from the movie “Absolute Beginners”

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Explore posts in the same categories: Morale, Single Developer, Software Development

2 Comments on “Crisis of Confidence and Motivation”

  1. Letta Says:

    THIS IS GREAT…and what an idea…small steps…you have to walk before you can run. Getting your ideas on paper is the best way to figure them out. You are doing a great job.

  2. developnorth Says:

    Letta, Thanks for the vote of confidence and being a loyal reader!


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